7 Tips to Improve Communication Skills That Will Make You a Better Person

How you communicate with others can greatly affect your life and the lives of those around you. Communication is something that we all do every day, whether we realize it or not, but communication can take on many different forms depending on the situation at hand. Sometimes it’s not what you say to others, but how you say it that matters most—other times it’s what you don’t say that gets your point across the loudest! This list of tips will help you improve your communication skills so that you can make a positive impact on the people in your life, one conversation at a time.

1) Take responsibility for what you say

The simplest way to improve your communication skills is to make sure that you’re taking responsibility for what you say. Before you speak, take time to think about what it is that you are going to say and how your words will be received by others. As adults, we have a tendency to act like children and blame our actions on everything except ourselves. By making sure that you’re taking responsibility for your actions, it will prevent many conflicts from developing in your relationships with others.

2) Consider the listener

If you’re going to communicate effectively, you’ve got to keep in mind that what you say isn’t always as important as how you say it. If your message is designed for one person and winds up reaching someone else, misunderstandings can arise. For example, if I say Good job! with a sarcastic inflection, chances are good that my words will be received as an insult by their intended recipient.

3) Watch your body language

As we know, communication is 80% body language. To be able to improve your communications skills, you should first be able to control and manage your body language effectively. Try watching yourself in front of a mirror as you communicate with others. Observe how your gestures and posture communicate certain messages in addition to what you are saying verbally. Also pay attention to those around you – do they seem receptive or standoffish? Use that information when planning your next course of action.

4) Ask questions after listening

Listening is an incredibly important part of effective communication. It's also one of those skills that gets easier with practice. By starting with questions instead of statements, you take control of conversations and make it clear that it's your responsibility to understand others. In return, you'll be better able to empathize with them and connect on a deeper level.

5) Keep your voice low and calm

Studies show that when you raise your voice and increase your volume, you are more likely to invoke defensiveness in others. In order to minimize confrontation and achieve better results, speak calmly and avoid yelling. Try not be too wordy: The goal of effective communication is not only what you say but how you say it. Be mindful of how long it takes for you to finish speaking so that there is time for others to reply.

6) Before sending an email, imagine it being read out loud

It’s estimated that only 10 percent of communication is based on words. This means that over 90 percent of your message is in how you say something and not what you say. Putting yourself in your reader’s shoes can help improve your communication skills by bridging any gaps or miscommunications caused by body language, vocal tone, facial expression and so on. Try reading an email out loud before sending it (and once it’s sent), or asking someone else to read it back to you.

7) Be prepared before giving feedback

If you’re not ready, feedback won’t help. Have your facts in order and keep notes on what you hear so that you can come back to them later. Even better? Ask permission to follow up with someone later, saying something like, I thought it might be useful for us to go over our conversation again at your convenience. Is that okay? Then send an email or make a call right away—you don’t want things left hanging.